I wanted this summer to be incredible, to actually do something that was semi- adventurous and would glorify God. Maybe I wanted too much to have something less dull to answer the question "what did you do all summer?" Maybe I was hoping for a good story to tell. So as you may or may not know, I took a job serving meals at a camp (Forest Home) in the San Bernardino mountains of California. It was to last from the time I got done with finals until August 15, but after a week I was back home. I still don't completely understand why I couldn't handle it. All I know is I desperately missed home and was miserable staying. Don't get me wrong, I totally loved the camp and all the people there. It was everything I'd hoped it would be. That's why it doesn't really make sense. My emotions have been crazy all over the place since mid-May, and I don't know why I can't seem to get a hold on them.
So this is what I've done with my time so far instead (besides shopping and spending time on facebook)...
worked at camp for a week
helped put together our family garage sale
painted at church and Josh & Kelly's
prepared for the awesome annual block party at TAC
applied for nearly a dozen jobs
moved into the basement (my own room!!!)
learned to play sudoku
hung out with my family and the youth group
(tomorrow to leave for Long Beach, then Creationfest at the Gorge)
I don't know if that's very much, but it sure feels like I'm headed for another unproductive summer. Well it's also difficult not being able to find a job, which is partly why I feel I'm wasting time--so maybe it's not all under my control. I want to do things for other people too, rather than just passing the days lazily away, but then again I get so self concerned I don't put that into practice or think about doing it all for the Lord. Well not to be such a downer but I'm just trying to put my thoughts out there since they might help others and myself understand why I do what I do. Yet I am still thoroughly confused by my own thoughts and actions.
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