goodness that's hard to grasp

I almost feel the need to apologize for some of the blogs from this summer. I didn't write much, but what I did wasn't so positive. It was a really rough couple months in there, but God worked hard on me. So ultimately, I came out of it with some new perspectives via counseling, a (hopefully) better understanding of who I am, and a basic plan for what to do with my life. Meaning, that I hope to graduate at the end of this year or as soon as possible with a general studies degree focusing on business, theology, and sociology. I still have little to no idea where things are headed after graduation, but I am okay with that. It's pretty obvious that God works all things out for good. when

we don't deserve it in the least. Some times He uses things that seem so small in the big picture, to make us realize just how true this is.

A month and a half before school started up again, my computer started acting weird...and ultimately crashed. I slacked and didn't deal with it until accidentally a week after the warranty ended. So it was deemed not worth repairing. I didn't deserve any slack on this situation. But the very day I found out about the laptop's status God provided a way for someone to give me a used one. It was absolutely incredible and unfathomable! I was so amazed by Him.

Another thing I was really concerned about was finding a job. I'd been trying for a long time with

absolutely no luck at all, in Tacoma and Seattle both. I knew what my best bet on campus would be, and was fine with a job in housekeeping. I applied a little early, but didn't hear back by the time I thought I would. I was thoroughly disappointed and worried, but affirmed in a discussion with my mom that God would definitely provide what He knows I need. Less than five minutes later I received an email that I did indeed get a position, and only a floor below me! I was so in awe, that God would do that for me. He does know how to give good gifts to His children...

It was pretty encouraging to start the year off with those reminders of God's goodness. I can see that He also has plans for other ways to change me in the near future; usually not easy but for which I am very grateful. Sometimes it astonishes me how much time He spends trying to win my whole heart over. Especially considering that in all logic, to a perfect god such a flawed person as me would never be worth it. But to the Lord I am, and that is incomprehensible.